Men are not all the same, but there are plenty of things that they all seem to like. Knowing the desires of your ex boyfriend can help you win them back into your life.
Looks
You can't change the body that God gave you, but you can optimize what you have. Show your ex how hot you can be by looking your best. This doesn't mean you have to dress differently, but it does mean you should put in the maximum effort to catch his eye. Dress every day like it is your first date together. This will gurantee that he notices you.
Compliments
Now that you are looking your best it is time to make him feel good. Don't go overboard, but a couple of nice compliments will go a long way. Even simple comments like "I like that shirt" or "Nice haircut" may seem petty, but men are just as anal as women regarding their appearance. Compliments also work well because they break down the stress in communication.
Playing Hard to Get
It might seem odd to try this since you are the one pursuing him, but it plays into the theory of wanting what we can't have. Be flirty and cute when you around your ex, but know when to walk away at the right time. Leaving him begging for more will turn the tables on your situation.
Did you scare your boyfriend away?
Everyone goes through some soul searching after dealing with a breakup. You wonder what went wrong and if there was something more you could have done to change the outcome. One thing to consider during this reflection time is to ask yourself if you actually scared your boyfriend away? This is not that uncommon and here are some common examples.
Commitment Pressure
No one likes to think that they put more into a relationship than they get out of it, but if you value your boyfriend, then you have to be careful. You can actually have the opposite effect by making demands for an engagement or more of his time. Guys can be like wild animals at times, and the more you cage them up the more they want to be free. Subtle hints at commitment are OK, but it should be a natural occurrence instead of a forced response.
Criticism
Similar to the commitment issue, guys like to feel empowered and confident. Thus, the more you bicker about their hair, clothes, or social activities the more they become turned off. The best approach is to compliment them when they do something you like, and keep your criticism to a minimum.
Too Much ____ (insert just about anything here)
There is such a concept of too much of a good thing, especially when it makes your boyfriend feel uncomfortable. This includes public displays of affection and time spent together. You want to be "wanted" - not "uninvited". Increase the value of your affection with a little bit of hard-to-get. You'll find that guys enjoy the hunt even more than the kill.
The bottom line is that you can scare away a good relationship even if you didn't mean to. Take a look at your yourself and your actions when analyzing your breakup. Were you too aggressive with the situations listed above? If so, it should be easy to recognize and correct. Make yourself more attractive to him by toning it down a notch. By doing this you will effectively turn the tables on the situation by making him want you back.
Commitment Pressure
No one likes to think that they put more into a relationship than they get out of it, but if you value your boyfriend, then you have to be careful. You can actually have the opposite effect by making demands for an engagement or more of his time. Guys can be like wild animals at times, and the more you cage them up the more they want to be free. Subtle hints at commitment are OK, but it should be a natural occurrence instead of a forced response.
Criticism
Similar to the commitment issue, guys like to feel empowered and confident. Thus, the more you bicker about their hair, clothes, or social activities the more they become turned off. The best approach is to compliment them when they do something you like, and keep your criticism to a minimum.
Too Much ____ (insert just about anything here)
There is such a concept of too much of a good thing, especially when it makes your boyfriend feel uncomfortable. This includes public displays of affection and time spent together. You want to be "wanted" - not "uninvited". Increase the value of your affection with a little bit of hard-to-get. You'll find that guys enjoy the hunt even more than the kill.
The bottom line is that you can scare away a good relationship even if you didn't mean to. Take a look at your yourself and your actions when analyzing your breakup. Were you too aggressive with the situations listed above? If so, it should be easy to recognize and correct. Make yourself more attractive to him by toning it down a notch. By doing this you will effectively turn the tables on the situation by making him want you back.
The Loser Lover
If you're thinking "My boyfriend is a loser!" here are the top six signs that you are right.
The first sign that your boyfriend is a loser is if delivers he pizza or has some other 'loser' job when he is already in his mid-twenties or older. While there is nothing wrong with a part time or second pizza delivery job to get you through high school or college, or the rough times when your full time job doesn't weather your temporary financial crisis, someone who, instead of managing or owning the local pizza parlor is one of its drivers is a loser as a boyfriend.
Your boyfriend is a loser if he uses some minor physical injury, condition or deformity to get himself out of working for a living. This kind of lack of ambition points to a big time loser who will never contribute well to the household finances, and certainly won't help provide you a fun-filled and financially sound retirement. Lose this loser.
The third sign that your boyfriend might be a loser is if he threatens to hurt or kill himself if you break up with him. This goes way beyond the concept of "my boyfriend is a loser," to the concept that "My boyfriend is mentally and emotionally sick." And, by the way, you are not responsible for this loser boyfriend. If you're in a position to coax him into therapy do so. If not, say goodbye and stay away.
Your boyfriend is a loser if he'd rather collect unemployment and wait for that perfect job to come along then take a less-than-perfect but highly respectable position while looking around for the job he really wants. The exception here, of course, is if taking a less desirable job means taking one that is hateful, a big pay cut and leaves no time for the job hunting that you need to do to get back to where you really want to be in your career. The problem with accepting such a job is that you've now lost your unemployment benefits and you still don't have the job that you want.
You should be thinking, "My boyfriend is a loser" if, while unemployed, or in his off-work hours, he refused to help you with the housework. A boyfriend who thinks that you, the woman, should be doing all the work around the home is definitely a loser.
You also should be thinking "My boyfriend is a loser" if he always has some excuse that keeps him from meeting your family. Another even more obvious clue is if this loser of a boyfriend objects to your spending time with your family when you could be with him. Of course, we're talking in moderation here. Still speaking of family, your boyfriend is a loser if he refuses to spend time with or get to know your children. This is not a guy who is going to take any child raising responsibility, care about their safety or happiness, or help you plan for their future. Dump this loser boyfriend.
These, then, are the primary reasons why you should be telling yourself, "My boyfriend is a loser."
Source: Submit Articles at ArticlesBase.com
Jane Haller runs a site called along with info on dating and relationship on her blog at at http://www.Hot-Firefighters.com/blog2
Can you stop a breakup?
Relationships are delicate items that must be continually nurtured. When things start to go wrong with them it can spiral into a breakup. The best way to stop a breakup is to recognize your problems and discuss them with your partner. Don’t expect to wait for the problems to fix themselves. Attack the issues by offering solutions, and re-build your relationship by suggesting creative things to do with your leisure time. Doing all of these things will help you repair your relationship over time. Remember to be persistent and honest with your partner, and the rest will fall into place.
Be Strong and Confident
Weakness in a man is not an attractive trait, yet when a woman breaks up with a man; to get her back some men choose to reveal just how weak he is.
When a man shows a woman this type of weakness it can only lead to 1 of 2 things.
- She leaves you for good
- She stays and proceeds to manipulate and control you
Even though, in reality when you choose to be weak the only thing it does is increase the likelihood of you not getting what you want.
A man who stays strong during a breakup can gain;
- Control in the relationship
- A woman who is attracted to him
- Increased inner strength
- A woman who is in control of the relationship
- A woman who is Not attracted to him
- Increased Inner Turmoil
In the end, staying strong or being weak is all about what you are willing to risk in the short term for long-term pleasure.
Control Your Anger
When the anger stage of your breakup hits you, it is better to isolate yourself by taking a walk or going into your bedroom. You can vent your agressions, but it is much better (and afer) to do them without anyone seeing.
Then decide what course of action to take. Make sure it is an action where you are able to handle your anger constructively. Punching someone out or telling a someone off is not handling your anger appropriately.
It also helps to find a good friend who will let you use him as a sounding board. Someone you can call day or night, who will listen to you about your problems and feelings. Promise to do the same for that person at some future time.
If you can't find a friend to "vent" to, buy a journal. Some people find writing out their feelings in a private place where no one else will see it helpful. Or write a letter to the object of your anger. Write everything you want to tell that person. After you are done, either rip it up or put it through a paper shredder.
Finding ways to release your anger in a controlled manner will help you get over your breakup. Soon the anger will go down and you get concentrate on what you want to do next.
Then decide what course of action to take. Make sure it is an action where you are able to handle your anger constructively. Punching someone out or telling a someone off is not handling your anger appropriately.
It also helps to find a good friend who will let you use him as a sounding board. Someone you can call day or night, who will listen to you about your problems and feelings. Promise to do the same for that person at some future time.
If you can't find a friend to "vent" to, buy a journal. Some people find writing out their feelings in a private place where no one else will see it helpful. Or write a letter to the object of your anger. Write everything you want to tell that person. After you are done, either rip it up or put it through a paper shredder.
Finding ways to release your anger in a controlled manner will help you get over your breakup. Soon the anger will go down and you get concentrate on what you want to do next.
Tough Questions Get Answers
There is usually one side of a troubled relationship that will refuse to reach out. This person usually believes it is not their fault that the relationship is failing. If this sounds like your partner, then it is up to you to attack the issues by asking the tough questions. These might include things like "Do you still love me?", "Why aren't you talking to me?", or "Do you think we can fix this?". Obviously it is easier to avoid these stressful questions, but you need to learn the truth about your relationship before you can plan how to fix it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
